Do I Actually Have Too Much to Do… or Am I Used to Doing Too Much?

I had a moment with myself recently.

A day where I didn’t really have anything planned.

But instead of just letting that be what it was…
I started looking for something to do.

Something to clean.
Something to organize.
Something to “be productive” about.

And I had to stop and ask myself:

Do I actually have too much to do…
or am I just used to doing too much?

Because sometimes it’s not about the schedule.

Sometimes it’s about the conditioning.

The habit of staying busy.
The discomfort of sitting still.
The belief that if I’m not doing something, I’m falling behind.

So I started asking myself better questions:

Is this something I need to do?
Is this something I want to do?
Or is this something I feel like I should be doing?

And that last one…

That’s where a lot of things live.

Because “should” will have you filling your plate without realizing it.

That day, I made a different choice.

I told myself:

Girl, go get in the bed.

And I did.

I laid there.
Played on my phone unapologetically.
Ate bread unapologetically.
Turned the TV on… or let it watch me.

And eventually, I took a nap.

And you know what happened?

Nothing.

The world didn’t collapse.
I didn’t fall behind.
I didn’t get ahead either.

Everything just… stayed.

And that’s when it clicked for me.

Maybe being overwhelmed isn’t always about having too much to do.

Maybe sometimes it’s about not giving ourselves permission to do nothing.

To rest without earning it.
To pause without guilt.
To exist without filling every moment.

I’m learning to check in with myself more.

Not just asking what needs to get done…

But asking why I’m doing it in the first place.

Because everything doesn’t need to be carried.

And everything doesn’t need to be done right now.

“Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10

 

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