Learning Where I Stand with Myself

Today made something clear to me:

There is a difference between priority and preference.

And for a long time…
I was operating from preference.

Not always consciously.
Not always intentionally.

But I was.

I lived from a place of:
treat others the way you want to be treated.

And while that holds truth, the way I applied it came from what I desired—not always from what was aligned.

I gave emotionally because I wanted emotional depth.
I showed up consistently because I valued consistency.
I poured into others because I believed that’s what love looked like.

But in reality…

I was giving from preference, not priority.

Preference feels real.

It feels justified.
It feels like the right thing to do.

But preference is rooted in:

• what I want
• what I feel
• what I hope will be returned

And when I lead from that place, I can give more than what is actually being met.

Not because people are wrong.
But because I’m not discerning.

Today, I stand in a different awareness.

I am learning to make myself a priority.

Not in a way that removes others—
but in a way that includes myself.

To give to myself first:

• my attention
• my honesty
• my care
• my presence

So that what I give to others is not coming from lack…
but from alignment.

Scripture brings clarity to this.

In Matthew 22:39, it says:

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Not instead of yourself.
Not before yourself.

As yourself.

Which means there has to be a relationship with self first.

Because if I don’t know how I am loving myself—
I won’t recognize what love looks like in my relationships.

I’m learning that when I know where I stand with myself,
I can more clearly see where I stand with others.

I’m not guessing.
I’m not overextending.
I’m not hoping something will be returned the same way I gave it.

I’m aware.

And that awareness allows me to:

• give with intention
• receive with clarity
• and adjust without confusion

I’m not learning to give less.

I’m learning to give from a place that includes me.

Because when I know where I stand with myself—
I no longer have to question where I stand with others.

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This is a space for becoming—and you’re always welcome here.