Who Feeds Delusion?

Yesterday, I wrote about checking the results.

Today, I want to talk about what happens when the results are available, but nobody wants to acknowledge them.

I've been thinking about delusion.

That's a strong word.

But sometimes strong words are appropriate.

We usually describe someone as delusional as though they arrived there completely on their own.

Sometimes they did.

But sometimes we should also examine the environment surrounding them.

Because delusion often has help.

Someone continues telling the entrepreneur the business is doing wonderfully even though the numbers repeatedly say otherwise.

Someone tells the leader everyone loves working for them while employees continue leaving.

Someone reassures a friend that everyone else is always the problem without ever asking whether there might be a pattern worth examining.

Someone watches a family member make the same destructive decision repeatedly but chooses silence because telling the truth would create conflict.

And sometimes we are the person doing the convincing.

We reinterpret every outcome.

Dismiss every criticism.

Explain every pattern.

Blame every circumstance.

And eventually, we've created a version of reality where nothing ever requires us to change.

That's dangerous.

Support and agreement are not the same thing.

I can support you without agreeing with every decision you make.

I can believe in your potential while acknowledging that your current strategy isn't working.

I can love you and still tell you that your behavior is hurting people.

I can encourage your business while asking whether the numbers support your expectations.

I can respect your leadership while telling you when your actions don't align with the leader you say you want to become.

In fact, sometimes honesty is the greater form of support.

Because agreement is easy when nothing is required of us.

Honesty can cost something.

It may create an uncomfortable conversation.

It may change a relationship.

It may require us to establish a boundary.

It may force us to acknowledge something about ourselves too.

That's why people sometimes participate in another person's delusion.

Not necessarily because they're intentionally dishonest.

Sometimes they're uncomfortable.

Sometimes they're afraid.

Sometimes they're benefiting from the situation.

Sometimes they don't want to disappoint someone.

Sometimes they don't believe it's their place to say anything.

And sometimes telling someone else the truth would require us to confront a truth of our own.

So we nod.

We agree.

We reassure.

We say:

"You're absolutely right."

"Don't listen to them."

"They're just jealous."

"Keep doing exactly what you're doing."

Those statements may feel supportive.

But if the evidence repeatedly says otherwise, what exactly are we supporting?

Leadership makes this especially important.

The more authority someone has, the easier it can become for honest feedback to disappear.

People learn what the leader wants to hear.

They stop challenging ideas.

They avoid uncomfortable conversations.

They agree publicly and complain privately.

Eventually, the leader can become completely disconnected from what is actually happening inside the organization.

Not because information wasn't available.

Because the environment stopped allowing information to travel honestly.

That's why strong leaders need people who can respectfully say:

I don't think this is working.

Here's what I'm seeing.

The results don't support that conclusion.

Have you considered another perspective?

Those aren't attacks.

They're valuable information.

But this isn't only about the people around us.

We also have a responsibility to ourselves.

We have to be willing to hear what we don't want to hear.

That's harder.

It's easy to say we want honesty until honesty challenges something we desperately want to believe.

That's when self-awareness matters.

Can I separate disagreement from disrespect?

Can I examine criticism without automatically accepting or rejecting it?

Can I look for patterns?

Can I ask whether the evidence supports my interpretation?

Can I admit that I might be wrong?

Can I change my mind when new information becomes available?

Those questions protect us.

Because confidence without self-awareness can become arrogance.

Optimism without evidence can become denial.

Persistence without evaluation can become repetition.

And support without honesty can become enabling.

None of us needs people whose only purpose is to criticize us.

That's not healthy either.

We need people capable of doing both.

Encouraging us and challenging us.

Celebrating our growth and questioning our assumptions.

Believing in our potential without pretending every choice we make is wise.

And we have to be willing to offer that same kind of relationship to others.

Not unsolicited judgment.

Not cruelty disguised as honesty.

Not believing our perspective is automatically the truth.

But when a relationship genuinely calls for our perspective, we shouldn't confuse being supportive with refusing to be truthful.

Sometimes the most valuable person in the room isn't the person saying:

You're doing great.

It's the person willing to ask:

Are you sure that's true?

Reflection

Who in your life can tell you something you don't want to hear—and you will still seriously consider whether they might be right?

And just as importantly:

Are you willing to be that kind of person for someone else?

Continue building intentionally,

Rosa M. Green
Founder, The Green Rose Experience

Building confidence through support, strategy, and style.